Seminar Topics

Think:  

1. 1. Where am I sacrificing my core convictions just to keep the peace or win approval? Conversely, where am I becoming overly rigid or dogmatic instead of staying connected?

   2. When the anxiety in the room spikes, how quickly do I absorb it? Am I reacting out of a "feeling state" or responding from a well-thought-out "thinking state"?

   3. Can I clearly define my own position on a tough issue while remaining genuinely open and non-defensive toward those who disagree?

   4. What does it mean for me to be differentiated?

   5. How do I actually go about becoming more differentiated?

   6. What does differentiation look like in my daily actions and relationships?

Read:

1. 1. Differentiation of Self.  A description from The Bowen Center for the Study of the Family

   2. Differentiation of Self Scale.  A 2 page description of Differentiation of Self Scale by Andrea Schara on her Mindful Compass web site.

   3. Leadership Through Self-Differentiation.  A 21 page transcript of Dr. Edwin Friedman speaking at a series of talks presented by The Seven Oaks Foundation. 

   4. The Core of a True Leader.

   5. Differentiation of self and spirituality: empirical explorations.

   6. Differentiation of Self: Enhancing Therapist Resilience When Working with Relational Trauma. By Linda M. MacKay

   7. "Differentiated" pastoral care: HISTORICAL AND PRACTICAL REFLECTIONS ON FAMILY SYSTEMS THEORY.

   8. Self-Differentiation in Christian Perspective. This article examines the concept of self-differentiation in family systems theory and therapy from an explicitly theological perspective and seeks to advance the discussion of its pastoral applications begun by the late and revered Edwin Friedman.

Watch:

1. 1. Three Steps to Differentiating One's Self (Murray Bowen 4 minutes)

   2. Murray Bowen Family Therapy: Techniques & Differentiation Of Self (24 minutes) This interesting video is produced by a relationship therapist specializing in couples counseling and family systems therapy.  A version of the Feelings Wheel mentioned in video.

   3. Differentiation as Life's Journey (28 minutes) Dr. Mariana Martinez talks about thinking of differentiation as a developmental process from birth onwards. She shares thoughts about how parents can promote differentiation in themselves to benefit their children.

   4. Differentiation of Self in a Family.  3.5 minutes, Murray Bowen

Consider:

1. 1. Differentiated Leadership.  A helpful chart from Peter Steinke.

   2. 7 Mature Responses to Get Back to Basics.  From How Your Church Family Works by Peter Steinke

Think:

1. 1. What triangles am I stuck in (whether I like it or not)?

   2. When two people or factions are in conflict, how am I being invited or pulled in to take a side, mediate, or fix it?

   3. Can I maintain a meaningful, separate relationship with both parties in a conflict without talking about the other person or acting as a messenger?

   4. Who or what is the "go-to" third party or external issue (e.g., gossip, a common enemy, a specific project) that I or this system use to avoid dealing with primary tensions?

Read:

1. 1. Triangles.  A description from The Bowen Center for the Study of the Family

   2. Back to the Basics: Triangles. Israel Galindo's blog posts entitled.  The link will take you to the first post but read all seven.  These can all be found in this article if you'd prefer:  Leadership and the Triangle

   3. 7 Laws of an Emotional Triangle.  Notes from Generation to Generation by Ed Friedman.

   4. The difference between triangles and triangulation: Family systems theory for church leaders.  An article from The Presbyterian Outlook by David Lee Jones Published: February 4, 2020 Updated: August 13, 2025

   5. Triangles: The “Glue” of Bowen Family Systems Theory.  By Patricia A. Comella, JD, on the faculty of the Georgetown Family Center. © Georgetown Family Center, 2001

   6. Summary of Edwin Friedman’s ‘A Failure of Nerve’: Part 6.  A summary of Emotional Triangles Posted on January 16, 2012 by Alastair Roberts

Watch:  

1. 1. Triangles in Relationships.  In this video Host Allen Blakey interviews Patricia Comella, JD, PA, and faculty member of the Bowen Center for the Study of the Family. 

   2. Triangles.  In this 2 minute video Kathy Wiseman describes triangles in this brief clip from Bowen Theory in Organizations. 

   3. Relationship Triangles.  In this 29 minute video, host Dr. Mariana Martinez interviews leadership teacher, executive coach, and Bowen Center faculty member, Stanley Proffitt.

Think:

1. 1. Can I identify the four basic relationship patterns—conflict, dysfunction in a partner, projection onto a child, and emotional distance—in my family of origin?

   2. Where do I see these four basic patterns at work in my family tree as I go back a generation or two?

   3. Which pattern was most common in my nuclear family?

   4. Which pattern is most common in my family of origin?

   5. Is the anxiety in my current system handled through overt, circular arguing, or is it managed through a chilly, polite withdrawal?

   6. Where am I or someone else consistently over-functioning (fixing, managing, carrying the load) while another person under-functions (folding, becoming passive, or getting sick)?

   7. Who in this system tends to absorb the majority of the collective anxiety, and how does that manifest in their behavior or well-being?

Read:

1. 1. Nuclear Family Emotional Process from The Bowen Center for the Study of the Family.

   2. #3 Nuclear Family Emotional System.  Your Mindful Compass How Understanding Your Family System Can Change Your Life

   3. Questions One Might Ask Related to: Nuclear Family Emotional Process

   4. The Dark Side of Adaptation by Kathleen Smith

   5. Nuclear Family Emotional System and Family Projection Process in Tennessee Williams’s Period of Adjustment.  Period of Adjustment (Amazon Prime & Google Play) a 1960 play by Tennessee Williams that was adapted in the film version of 1962. 

Watch:

1. 1. Adaptive Relationship Patterns in the Nuclear Family (3 minute video by Bowen)

   2. Understanding Estrangement (28 minute video - Dr. Karl Pillemer talks about his findings from the Cornell Estrangement and Reconciliation Project. The conversation also explores how Bowen theory offers a unique perspective on family rifts through the concept of cutoff.

   3. Nuclear Family Emotional Process 23 minute presentation from Atlantic International University Open Course on the Fundamentals of Family Theory Course (session 6). 

   4. The Power of Family  Process.  28 minutes.  Dr. Mariana Martinez interviews Dr. Robert Noone.

Think:

1. 1. What family systems work have I been doing in the last month?

   2. Where do I see projection happening in my family? Where do I see it happening in my congregation or workplace?

   3. Who in my system has been subtly or overtly cast as the "problem" or the weak link?

   4. To what degree am I projecting my own anxiety about my competence or future onto the performance of a specific family/team member?

   5. Am I treating this individual as someone who needs to be "fixed," or can I see them as a mirror reflecting the broader system's anxiety?

Read:  

1. 1. Family Projection Process.  From The Bowen Center for the Study of the Family

   2. Bullies, Worries – Mindsets and the Family Projection Process

   3. We Don't Need Your Help...But Please Fix Our Children.  From The Family Systems Institute by Jenny Brown.

   4. Questions Related to Family Projection Process.  

   5. #4 Family Projection Process.  Blog entry from Your Mindful Compass by Andrea Schara.  

Watch: 

1. 1. Family Projection Process: Parents as Leaders (7 min) Read accompanying guide with Parents as Leaders Video 

   2. Life at the Helm: What Does the Leader See (And Not See) A 90 minute lecture and discussion from the Bowen Center Presenter: Kathleen Cotter-Cauley, LMFT.

   3. The Family Projection Process (5.5 min)  Dr. Bowen describes the concept by which a major part of whatever degree of immaturity or undifferentiation in the parent(s) is transmitted into one or more of the children. 

Think:

1. 1. Can I identify the conscious teaching and learning of things that made my family members anxious?

   2. Can I identify the automatic and unconscious programming of my own emotional reactions and behaviors?

   3. What unwritten rules, core vulnerabilities, or coping mechanisms have I inherited from the founders or previous generations of this system?

   4. In what ways are the current challenges I face an exact replication of a crisis or relationship pattern that occurred years or decades ago in this system's history?

   5. What healthy emotional strengths am I actively carrying forward, and what reactive baggage needs to stop with me?

Read:

1. 1. Multigenerational Transmission Process from The Bowen Center for the Study of the Family.

   2. Multigenerational Transmission Process  by Ken Crowford.  How to think about and diagram Multigenerational Transmission Process. 

Watch:

1. 1. Trust & Legacy (29 minutes). An  interview with business consultant and Bowen Center faculty member, Kathleen K. Wiseman who consults with family members who have to decide how to transfer and share assets from one generation to the next.  The discussion is really about how a generation defines is values and passes them on to the next generation. 

   2. Differentiation as Life's Journey.  (28 minutes) Dr. Mariana Martinez talks about thinking of differentiation as a developmental process from birth onwards. She shares thoughts about how parents can promote differentiation in themselves to benefit their children. 

Think:

1. 1. How has cut-off influenced my relationships?

   2. What or where is there cut-off in my family or work system?

   3. Where have I mistaken "cutting someone off" or walking away for true independence and differentiation?

   4. Where are the structural or emotional cutoffs occurring within the system, and how do those gaps fuel suspicion and rumors?

   5. What would it look like to cautiously, intentionally bridge a cutoff without needing the other party to change their behavior first?

Read:

1. 1. Emotional Cutoff. From the The Bowen Center for the Study of the Family.

   2. 25 Ways We Use Distance to Manage Anxiety & When You’re Too Close to the Problem. Both are blog posts from Kathleen Smith.

   3. Part 1 & Part 2 - Emotional Cutoff and Bridging It: A Conversation.  In this discussion Katherine Kott interviewed Laura Havstad about the concept of emotional cutoff in Bowen theory.

   4. #5 Emotional Cutoff blog post by Andrea Schara.

   5. Estranged or Connected?   Blog entry from Your Mindful Compass by Andrea Schara:   

Watch:

1. 1. Cutoff in Family Relationships.  28 minute video of Dr. Kathleen Smith interview Dr. Anne McKnight.

Listen:

1. 1. Questions about generational transmission and cut-off from family of origin. (~31min) From The Family Systems Institute faculty members Lily Mailler and Jenny Brown.

Think:

• 1. How would my parents advise me to manage my anxiety?

  2. What is my sibling position?

  3. What is the sibling position of my parents?

  4. Can I identify specific emotional reactions and behaviors in myself that are characteristic of my sibling position?

  5. How might understanding my sibling position help me navigate family anxiety?

  6. How does my baseline expectation of my role—such as being the responsible oldest, the peacemaking middle, or the creative youngest—show up in how I lead or follow?

  7. When friction occurs between my colleagues or within my team, to what degree am I witnessing a clash of expected sibling positions, such as two "oldests" fighting for control or two "youngests" waiting for the other to take charge?

  8. How can I consciously step outside the constraints of my natural sibling profile to provide what the system actually needs from me right now?

Read:

1. Sibling Position. From the Bowen Center for the Study of the Family

2. Birth order may not shape personality after all.  From the Washington Post by Ben Guarino.

3. Birth Order:  How your position in the family can influence your personality.  From ABC Canberra by Penny Travers

4. Why Do Siblings Often Turn Out Very Differently? by Michael E. Kerr. 

5. Sibling Position by Ken Crawford.  Pay special attention to the table illustrating 12 positions on page 2.

6. Which Family Were You Born Into? From the Murray Bowen Archive Project a letter from Bowen's in response to a patient looking at her own functioning from the oldest sibling position.

Watch: 

1. Sibling Position: Life Choices Determined by Sibling Positions (28 minutes). Allen Blakey interviews Dr. Anne McKnight. The dynamics of birth position can help in choosing a profession. It can also shed light on relationship issues, e.g. if two first-borns marry, how will they get along? Will they both fight to be the leader?

2. Stay Curious, Ask Questions, Make Contact.   Watch the 3.5 minute video that seeks to answer the question, How do you make contact with even the lowest functioning person, especially if they aren’t very verbal?

Think:

1. 1. How are macro-level societal anxieties (economic shifts, political polarization, cultural transitions) bleeding through the walls and escalating the micro-anxieties within our specific group?

   2. Is this system adapting with principle-driven, long-term thinking, or is it regressing into quick-fix, symptom-relieving behaviors?

   3. How do I maintain a calm, differentiated presence when the broader cultural current is pushing for polarization and reactivity?

   4. How do I define personal happiness?  

   5. How can I watch the news and still be happy?  

Read:

1. 1. Societal Emotional Process.  From The Bowen Center for the Study of the Family.

   2. Trying to Be Happy Might Be Making Us Depressed by Kathleen Smith

   3. #8 Societal Emotional Process by Andrea Schara from her blog, Your Mindful Compass

   4. Societal Regression and Leadership.   From Systems Coaching LLC Blog Posted on February 23, 2012

   5. Coping with Anxiety in a Pandemic.  From Sojourners, by J. Dana Trent

   6. Societal Regression and Donald Trump.  From the Family Systems Institute.

Watch:

1. 1. Making Decisions in the Midst of an Emotionally Aroused Social Environment

   2. Making Decisions in the Midst of an Emotionally Aroused Social Environment.  28 minutes.  Dr. Mariana Martinez interviews Dr. Daniel Papero

   3. The Happiness Project with Gretchen Rubin 

   4. Check Out: The Happiness Project Website

Think: 

1. 1. What do I do that's playful?

   2. What keeps my work so serious?

   3. What about my work or home situation is genuinely funny?

   4. If I decided to stop being so terribly responsible and serious about this issue for just five minutes, what is the most absurd or creative solution I would come up with?

   5. What is the unwritten rule or "sacred cow" in my group that everyone obeys but nobody talks about? What would happen if I deliberately and playfully broke it tomorrow?

   6. If my family's or team's anxiety was a character in a sitcom, what would I imagine their catchphrase to be?

   7. How could I intentionally make this problem worse over the next two weeks? What would I have to do to guarantee absolute failure?

   8. What are the hidden benefits for me or the group in keeping this problem exactly as it is right now? Who gets to avoid changing if I never fix it?

   9. If I completely surrendered to the fact that I cannot control this person or situation, what energy would that suddenly free up for me to use elsewhere?

   10. As a chronic over-functioner, what would happen if I went on a "responsibility strike" for 48 hours? What am I terrified would collapse, and what if it actually didn't?

   11. If we swapped roles for a day—where I stepped into the opposite of my usual functional position—what do I think I would discover about myself and the system?

   12. If I were to approach this highly anxious issue with a spirit of lighthearted curiosity rather than an urgent need to fix it, what is the very first joke or playful observation I would make about the situation?

Read:

1. 1. PlayBook: Generation to Generation. A blog entry.

   2. The Wisdom of Play: A little playfulness can go a long way  A blog entry.

   3. No Laughing Matter a Counseling Today  feature by Kathleen Smith 

   4. PARADOX ala Ed Friedman.  FromW. Thomas Soeldner

   5. Knock Knock! Who’s There? Exploring the Functions of Play and Humor During Bowen Family Systems Theory Training.

Listen:

1. 1. Non-Anxious Leaders Understand Paradox and Playfulness or you can read the transcript here. (15 minute podcast)

Watch: 

1. 1. The Skill of Humor by Andrew Tarvin. In this TEDx Talk Andrew Tarvin will show you that everyone can use humor.  Where do you see BFST (Bowen Family Systems Theory) in this talk?

   2. Leading with Laughter: The Power of Humor in Leadership In this TEDx Talk Paul Osincup talks about his idea for using laughter to building stronger leaders.  Where do you see BFST in this talk? 

Consider: 

1. 1. Make a list of the most outrageous comments people have shared with you in the last year and email them to Tim. We'll play with them at the LMAO Seminar.

Think:

1. 1. What keeps my work so serious?

   2. Can I predict where the next effort at sabotage will come from?

   3. What am I taking responsibility for at home and at work?

   4. When a project hits a major roadblock, my natural instinct is to ask, "Who screwed up?" What changes for me if I ask, "What pattern of communication or pressure led to this result?"

   5. When I think about the most frustrating "personality clash" on my team, what structural tension or unspoken expectation am I seeing them react to if I look past the individuals?

   6. How much of my daily energy is spent doing my actual job versus managing the emotional weather and unspoken politics of the office?

   7. When two people on my team have a disagreement, how often do I get pulled in—or pull a third person in—to hear complaints, mediate, or pass messages? How does that impact our trust?

   8. Where am I carrying the weight of multiple people's responsibilities because I hate to see things drop? What is my over-functioning doing to everyone else’s initiative?

   9. If my team went on a 48-hour "gossip fast"—where I only spoke directly to the person I have an issue with—what would happen to the anxiety level in the office?

   10. When major organizational change or external stress hits us, do I tend to become overly rigid and controlling, or do I become chaotic and reactive? What is my default reflex?

   11. When I look back at the history of this department, company, or church, what unwritten rules or "ghosts of leadership past" am I still allowing to dictate how I make decisions today?

   12. Am I making decisions based on long-term, principle-driven strategy, or am I constantly implementing short-term fixes just to relieve immediate pressure?

Read:  

1. 1. Work Systems as Family Systems talk by Ed Friedman. (15 page transcript)

   2. Nothing is as Practical as Good Theory (focus on the "Thinking About Workplace Dilemmas" section)

   3. The Edwin Friedman Model of Family Systems  Thinking.   By David Cox Ed.D. Professor Arkansas State University

   4. An Application of Bowen Family Systems Theory.  Judy Haefner, DNP, RN University of Michigan–Flint, Nursing, Flint, Michigan, USA

   5. Applying Bowen Theory to Work Systems.  By Katherine Kott

   6. A FAMILY SYSTEMS APPROACH TO PARKING LOT MEETINGS.  By Jones, David Lee from Presbyterian Outlook, 9/3/2018, volume 200, issue 12, pages 26-30.

Watch:  

1. 1. Overfunctioning/Underfunctioning Reciprocity. (just 8 minutes!)Erik Thompson describes an overfunctioning/underfunctioning reciprocity in this brief clip from Bowen Theory in Organizations.

Think:

1. When a central piece of my system is removed and the remaining pieces naturally shift to fill the void, who used to hold this family together, and who is feeling the implicit pressure to step into that role now?

2. If the person who passed held a functional role like the "chief anxiety officer" or primary peacemaker, how is my system scrambling to manage its tension without them?

3. In what ways has this loss exposed the gaps where I was relying on the deceased person to mediate or bridge relationships between other family members?

4. When our collective grief and anxiety spike, which of my family relationships are suddenly becoming more intense or strained? Who am I pulling—or seeing pulled—into triangles to dilute the tension?

5. Are we facing the shared anxiety of this loss directly, or am I projecting it (or seeing it projected) onto a specific family member by treating them as "too fragile" or criticizing them for "not caring enough"?

6. What is the "external topic" (e.g., estate planning, funeral details, old grievances) that I or my family are focusing all our emotional energy on right now to avoid the raw vulnerability of the loss itself?

7. Under the stress of this loss, is my family’s default reflex to demand total closeness and agreement (fusion), or are we physically and emotionally pulling away to protect ourselves (cutoff)?

8. What does it look like for me to maintain a calm, differentiated presence—staying genuinely connected to my family's grief without getting swallowed up by the collective reactivity?

9. How can I respect individual differences in how people think, feel, and process this loss without interpreting those differences as a lack of love or loyalty?

Read:

1. 1. Family Reaction to Death.  By Murray Bowen.

   2. Bowen Family Systems and Grief. by Jenny Brown

   3. Death, Distance and Dynamics in the Bush Family.  By Laura M. Benton, from the Multicultural Family Institute

Watch:

1. 1. Thinking about Grief.  28 minutes.  Dr. Mariana Martinez interviews Dr. Anne McKnight, Director of the Bowen Center for the Study of the Family.  Bowen theory offers a new way of understanding the reaction to death in the family.

   2. Basic Series 6 - Family Reaction to Death.  Murry Bowen hour long video.  This tape is on the emotional process surrounding death in a family and is considered one of the series' most significant tapes.  1978. Black & White.

Think:

1. 1. If I look past the individual diagnosis for a moment, in what ways might this depression be acting as a thermometer, registering the unspoken chronic anxiety or stress of my entire system?

   2. Systems often unconsciously nominate one person to hold or express the pain for the group. How does seeing depression as a shared systemic challenge change how I choose to support the individual?

   3. What shifts for me if I stop asking, "Why is this person depressed?" and start asking, "What emotional currents or pressures in my system is this depression reacting to?"

   4. Since an under-functioning position is almost always paired with an over-functioning position, where am I participating in that automatic dance of fixing, managing, or carrying the load?

   5. What would happen to the balance of this system if the depressed person suddenly got well and stood on their own two feet? Who—including myself—would lose their role as the "rescuer" or "fixer"?

   6. How have my own well-meaning efforts to "protect" or "fix" this individual inadvertently reinforced their passivity or helplessness?

   7. When tension rises between other key players in this system, how does my focus on the depressed individual's well-being step in to distract me and dilute that primary, underlying conflict?

   8. Is the anxiety of a larger organizational or family transition being projected onto this person's performance or mood?

   9. What is the unexpressed conflict, unspoken grief, or unresolved relationship dilemma in this system that this depression might be keeping me from looking at directly?

Read:

1. 1. Depression's Evolutionary Roots

   2. Depression's Upside

Watch:

1. 1. Chronic Anxiety.  Host Allen Blakey interviews Dr. Michael Kerr, Director of the Bowen Center for the Study of the Family

Think:

1. 1. When I temporarily look past the obvious symptom or immediate crisis, what underlying chronic anxiety or tension is this behavior acting as a pressure valve for?

   2. When I focus 100% of my energy on fixing one "problem person" or issue, what other major relationship tensions, unspoken conflicts, or systemic challenges am I successfully avoiding?

   3. How am I using this primary problem or symptom as a third point in a triangle to bond with certain people (e.g., through shared worrying or complaining) while avoiding my own direct relationship issues with them?

   4. How does shifting your view of a problem from "an individual character flaw" to "a symptom of a highly anxious system" fundamentally change where you look for solutions?

   5. Since an under-functioning position cannot exist without an over-functioning counterpart, where am I participating in that automatic dance, and where am I playing the shock absorber?

   6. How much of my personal identity, sense of purpose, or need for control has become tied up in trying to manage, predict, or modify another person's behavior?

   7. What is the unspoken rule or catastrophe I assume would happen if I stopped accommodating or over-functioning for one week? Is that assumption based on reality, or is it driven by systemic anxiety?

   8. Whose anxiety am I actually carrying? When I feel an overwhelming wave of stress, exhaustion, or resentment, is it truly mine, or am I absorbing the emotional reactivity of someone else who is under-functioning?

   9. Where does my responsibility truly end, and where does the other person's responsibility begin? Can I clearly draw that line for myself without defaulting to anger or coldness?

   10. What would happen if I stepped back from over-functioning and allowed the natural, real-world consequences of the behavior to land where they belong, even if it causes discomfort?

   11. How can I remain warmly and meaningfully connected to this anxious group without feeling like it is my job to fix their discomfort? What does a "calm presence" look like for me in this specific scenario?

   12. If I stop absorbing the stress and step out of these reactive patterns, how am I prepared to handle the inevitable "change-back" pressure, criticism, or pushback from the system?

Read:

1. 1. Addiction and the Family Systems Model.  From the National Association for Children of Addiction

   2. Drugs & Alcohol- a Symptom of the System.  From the Family Systems Institute.

   3. The Impact of Substance Use Disorders on Families and Children: From Theory to Practice.

Watch:

1. 1. Family Systems of Addiction by Dr. Bob Weathers.  6 minutes. Challenges conventional ideas about addiction being only an individual problem.  Rather, draws on such concepts as "family homeostasis" as offering a compelling rationale for including the entire family system in the most effective program of recovery from addiction.

   2. Understanding Addictions - Part 1. 24 minutesDr. Roberta Holt interviews Dr. Anne McKnight, EDD, LCSW, LICSW and Director of the Bowen Center for the Study of the Family.  What does it take to effectively deal with the problem of addiction to drugs or alcohol? Bowen theory offers a different approach from AA, individual theory, or the medical model.  Family Systems theory looks at the ways the entire family plays a role in the addiction in one or more members. 

   3. Understanding Addictions - Part 2. 25 minutes. Dr. Roberta Holt interviews Dr. Anne McKnight, EDD, LCSW, LICSW and Director of the Bowen Center for the Study of the Family.  What does it take to effectively deal with the problem of addiction to drugs or alcohol? Bowen theory offers a different approach from AA, individual theory, or the medical model.  Family Systems theory looks at the ways the entire family plays a role in the addiction in one or more members. 

   4. Substance Abuse and Bowen Theory - Part 1.  29 minutes. Allen Blakey interviews Joan Jurkowski, MS, LCPC who is also a faculty member of the Bowen Center for the Study of the Family.  They discuss substance abuse and the family system.  Many people regularly enjoy alcoholic beverages without becoming abusers while other fall over the edge into addiction. The same is true for drugs.  Joan defines use versus abuse as a point where a person encounters a use-related problem that affects some area of their life but continues the use despite that. 

   5. Substance Abuse and Bowen Theory – Part 2. 28 minutes. Allen Blakey interviews Joan Jurkowski, MS, LCPC and faculty member of the Bowen Center for the Study of the Family.  They discuss substance abuse and the family system.  Bowen theory provides a different way of looking at substance abuse.  Traditional theory sees substance abuse as a problem in the affected member, one that other family members have to cope with.  Bowen theory conceptualizes substance abuse as a problem in the family having to do with how people are relating to one another.  Joan describes a case where “giving up self” for others was tied to one man’s extreme drinking problem.  Working to “be a self” by taking responsibility for self, without functioning for others, is a key principle of Bowen theory regarding the resolution of symptoms.